Going Out to Dinner with Kids While on a Sleep Schedule
Conquer the 2 Year Sleep Regression: A Comprehensive Guide to Restful Nights
It is not uncommon for us to hear from families around their child’s second birthday. They are often wondering what has happened to their toddler’s sleep. Sleep issues and nap resistance are cropping up where they haven’t before. This is because of the 2-year sleep regression!
Let us assure you that this does not have to be your new normal. A bump in the road in sleep can last less than one week if your response is consistent. The 2 year sleep regression can also last for up to six weeks (or more) in some cases!
Signs and Symptoms of a 2 year Sleep Regression
To begin with, at 2 years old, yes, sleep needs shift. You will notice many signs of decreasing sleep needs. We want to be realistic and prepared for a slight dip in total sleep needed as children age. As children take longer to fall asleep or early morning wakings increase, adjusting awake windows is necessary.
It is absolutely normal for toddlers to desire to explore the world around them and test boundaries more. Most commonly, a new two-year-old’s favorite word genuinely is “no!” It is no secret that the developing sense of autonomy is strong! Challenging behaviors can become exacerbated by poor sleep. These signs of the 2 year sleep regression make themselves apparent both during sleep and play times.
What do families typically see during the two year sleep regression? The most common symptoms are:
- 1. protesting sleep
2. staying awake for long periods of time
3. waking up too early
4. skipping the nap
Causes and Triggers
The 2 year sleep regression typically pops in between 21 months and 2 years, 3 months old. Addressing underlying causes is a great place to start.
Teething
The arrival of the two-year molars can cause discomfort. When toddlers get used to additional comfort, and interactions with their loved ones, night wakings may occur – even when the pain subsides.
Illness
In addition, for toddlers in childcare or around other children regularly, pediatricians share that it is common to contract 10-15 viruses per year in year two and three of life. Thus, sickness can begin playing a role in your child’s sleep patterns on and off as well. Of course common sense parenting applies in these situations too; we will always meet our children’s needs! The key is that we comfort and meet physical needs without creating new sleep habits that our little ones become accustomed to and begin to demand.
Milestones
At 2 years old, new milestones or changes at home can play a role in sleep changes as well. If there is an arrival of a new sibling, expect sleep to take a hit (temporarily). This is a huge change for the entire family!
If you’re moving to a new house, a child may need some time to adjust too. This can also apply is your child is adjusting to a new childcare situation at school, at home with a change in nanny, or at a play group or church. As kiddos get older, they are more alert, more aware, and want to be more involved in changes.
Another big impactor around this age is the process of potty-training. Teaching toddlers the ins and outs of the potty process is very effective around the second birthday. While it is an excellent time to potty train, the brain is on overdrive mastering a massive new skill. This can cause sleep to be affected. Allow me to add a shameless plug because it is absolutely helpful to toddler parents… Our certified potty-training consultants, who are also certified sleep consultants, would absolutely love to help your family potty train with confidence while also protecting sleep! Our comprehensive course offers one-on-one support in some capacity at every single level!
Sleep Habits
Another contributing factor at this age is having milk and screen time too close to sleep. Even if one of those habits as not yet caused an issue, this age is a huge time for the presence of milk or screens near bedtime/naptime to start to impact a child’s ability to fall asleep or stay asleep.
Separation Anxiety & the 2 year Sleep Regression
One of the biggest developmental milestones at this age is the re-emergence of heightened separation anxiety. Separation anxiety can impact bedtime or naptime as a 2 year old protests their caregiver leaving their room. Having a predictable routine can really help a child during this time.
Our Tips for Navigating the 2 Year Sleep Regression
In our line of work we have helped many, many families successfully navigate the 2 year sleep regression. Here are a few tips that have been successful for children experiencing this regression.
- Consistent sleep space: It is so tempting to transition out of the crib in response to rocky sleep. We strongly advise against doing this as a response to a regression. Your child is not looking for a new bed to combat sleep issues. For the majority of brand new two-year-olds, it is far too early to handle the responsibility and maturity of staying in bed. That expectation is more reasonable closer to the third birthday, so be patient. Keep your little one safely in a crib. Offering a lovey, a stuffed animal, or a blanket can provide some security and ease anxiety at this age.
- Schedule Changes: This age often requires a slight adjustment in the child’s daily schedule to accommodate for age-appropriate sleep needs. At one year-old, many kiddos can handle just 4-4.75 hours of awake time before bedtime, but two-year-old needs 5 to 5.5 hours of awake time on either side of the nap. There are two choices, here. Trim the nap slightly or shift bedtime later. This is very age-appropriate! If we do not provide an increase in awake time, protest can worsen, and sleep can deteriorate more.
- Security in Boundaries: Toddlers feel secure with boundaries because they know what to expect and what is expected of them. They are also likely to test where that boundary is. This doesn’t make your child “manipulative”. The basic discovery of “how do I get what I want?” is a normal process. It means your little one is a typically-developing kiddo this age. This is par for the course with toddlerhood. As tiring as it can be, looking for ways to change the response of caregivers around us, is absolutely age-appropriate. In these cases, your black and white, repetitive response is essential so your child knows exactly what the expectations are around bedtime.
Coping Mechanisms for Getting Past the 2 Year Sleep Regression
There are many coping mechanisms (for parents and toddlers alike) that can ease the struggles of the regression period. Clear boundaries and expectations, especially around sleep, help tremendously. Some children respond best to visuals we can repeatedly refer to. Others respond best to concise, repetitive verbal reminders, such as, reassuring mantras that can be repeated, recalled, and bring confidence during feelings of separation anxiety. Additionally, do not underestimate the power of intentional distraction-free one-on-one time everyday with your toddler. This can be as little as ten minutes, but it is incredibly powerful.
Further, don’t alter bedtime routine in drastic ways — unless you need to remove a previous habit that can worsen sleep as mentioned above. For example, research is clear that milk is best served seperately from sleep times and only in a cup, not a bottle, for 2 year olds. Do not offer milk before laying down or especially immediately upon waking up. To set your child up for success, keep screen time separated from sleep by at least 90 minutes. If those elements are already not a part of your bedtime routine, great! Carry on. Your child is looking for security met with familiarity and boundaries met with empathy, and a peaceful bedtime routine is so helpful for filling up a child’s metaphorical cup.
A consistent bedtime routine is also key. It’s just as impactful (if not more!) for a toddler to have a bedtime routine to rely on as it is an infant. Provide a family dinner time, offer a bath, get pajamas on, brush teeth, and read a couple books together before saying goodnight.
When to Seek Sleep Wise Support
If sleep has been a mess for months, it’s likely not a simple regression causing the issue. The presence of a sleep prop can lead to sleep being consistently interrupted. If you need behavioral sleep assistance to remove any external aids your child relies on to fall asleep, that is where we come in. Independent sleep skills are life-changing for the entire family. And yes, you can teach them even during a two-year sleep regression. You and your child can benefit from predictable sleep and healthy coping mechanisms when sleep is disrupted.
In fewer cases, some kiddos already have independent sleep skills and may need further medical evaluations or specialized intervention. If your child is struggling with snoring or mouth breathing on a regular basis, sleep is suffering. Children impacted by their necessary medications, little ones with very low iron or other deficiencies, kiddos with airway health struggles, or those with sleep apnea or sleep-related disorders would benefit from specialized intervention. If you simply aren’t sure which is impacting your child, ask. We would love to help you identify red flags and seek the right help to get your entire family sleeping well.
The New Normal?
The 2-year sleep regression is exhausting for you and your child, but there is hope. Broken sleep is not the “new normal.” When we see the signs of symptoms of trouble, we do not need to simply get used to difficult nights or painfully long days.
In fact, we can navigate specific issues with you to bring back a missed nap, avoid night wakings, establish a better wake up time for the family, or allow bedtime to feel peaceful again. When the 2 year sleep regression (or any other regression over the years) is handled with confidence and consistency through well-developed coping mechanisms, there is hope for all of you to enjoy great rest again soon! Improved sleep is on the way! The “norm” is, and always should be, restorative sleep for the entire household.